1. Taoism - Shit happens.
2. Hare Krishna - Shit happens rama rama ding ding.
3. Hindusim - This shit happened before.
4. Islam - If shit happens, take a hostage.
5. Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?
6. Buddhism - When shit happens, is it really shit?
7. Confusianism - Confucias say, "Shit happens".
8. 7th Day Adventist - Shit happens on Saturdays.
9. Protestantism - Shit won't happen if I work harder.
10. Catholicism - If shit happens, I deserve it.
11. Jehovah's Witness - Knock, knock, "Shit happens!"
12. Unitarian - What is this shit?
13. Mormon - Shit happens again and again and again ...
14. Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to me?
15. Rastafarianism - Let's smoke this shit