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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 neighbor's sneaky dog.

FREE PUPPIES. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog... able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.

COWS, FOR SALE , NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK. $300, Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES. California grown -- 89 cents/lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY. Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one of all...:

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.